In utterly unexpected (to me, when I consider it in retrospect) news, I don’t really get writer’s block for fiction any more!*
*Knock on wood. Oh my god, knock on wood.
To be fair, I have times where I’m slower than others — checking my stats on 750words, it takes me rrrrroughly 20 minutes to get to 750 words total in a writing session, taken over the past 10 days. (Semi-related to my last post, I think that’s probably actually pretty good, statswise? I can’t be absolutely sure, though.) Sometimes a scene or even just a single line is particularly difficult, and I end up rewriting and rephrasing, and sometimes even after various retries, I’m not 100% satisfied. But I don’t open a doc and then stop because I have no idea where to go or what to work on — even with my “pantser” style of writing, where all of my writing is done mostly on the fly, I don’t actually struggle to write my fiction these days.
On the other hand, in what feels entirely backwards to me, I often try to start a blog entry and end up finding myself staring. I have over a dozen failed entry starts scribbled in the notebook I carry around with me all the time; I’ve written myself out an actual list of potential entries, though a lot of them feel kind of pretentious. They’re all things that I have thoughts and feelings on (I have thoughts and feelings on a lot of things, okay), but when it comes to actually talking about them, I end up blanking. As a general rule, I don’t think of myself as an outright private person, but I usually prefer not to volunteer things unless explicitly invited. Which, frankly, is a pretty bad way to handle a blog, and actually a good part of why I decided to try doing it regularly again. （￣へ￣） I miss the social aspects of writing that I had when I was younger and more active in fandom, and I want to get more comfortable just talking in my own voice, rather than that of the Narrator or one of my characters. I’ve mentioned before that I’m on the shyer end of the scale, even though I usually disguise it via allcaps on microblogging platforms; I would like to figure out how to write in a way that isn’t fiction but also isn’t an Essay at the same time.
(Though honestly, maybe these entries do come across as essays. I hope they don’t. I have read writer blogs that come across as ridiculously pretentious and that is the last thing I want to do.)
Mostly I am determined to keep up with this whole blog thing, even if it’s silly or doesn’t accomplish much in passing; I’ve heard that a blog in general is a good thing to have when you’re a Writer, but I’ve been wanting to do this for a while. I missed actual journaling, like I used to do back in LiveJournal’s heyday; this was just a good impetus to get started again. Maybe I’ll get better with it in time, like I did with regularly writing fiction! Maybe I’ll learn connecting socially! Maybe I’ll get over my dubiousness and actually write about the topics I scribbled as suggestions to myself in my notebook — they’re all things I’m interested in, and they’re all things I have feelings on; maybe there is something there.
Until then, peppering with emoticons is my thing to do. (゜▽゜;)