Trying to get back on a schedule is hard.
For a while, I was doing very well with writing; it was easy to at least sit down and do maybe about 1.5K words every day with about half an hour of time. They might not have been the best words, but they were down, and I could come back to edit them later. It didn’t feel like a strain, but more like a comfortable part of my routine.
But over time, I’ve fallen off that schedule.
It’s not like any actual major event happened that knocked me off — I’d say it was more just the slow accumulation of other things coming up and smaller life changes that came together until I realized I was way off. I can blame part of it on larger anxieties. The world continues to be a terrifying and uncertain place, even if I can only do so much.
Of course there’s more to it than that. The front desk in my building now closes an hour earlier than it used to, so if I need to pick up packages I have to rush straight home, rather than take the extra hour to find somewhere to write. I’ve had to make some small but significant adjustments to my daily routine for my health as well, so I’m cooking more and more carefully and watching more of what I eat. A lot of pastries are now out of the picture, which means that coffee shops and tea houses are also out.
(What sort of artist am I, now? I can’t even go to a coffee shop anymore!)
So the end result is that now I don’t really have a consistent writing schedule, and while there are bigger things in the picture, I think that it’s not really helping my productivity. Honestly, there are more days than not where I don’t write anything new or creative fictionally, I just sort of dump a lot of freeform thoughts onto the computer and call it good. And while I think there’s still merit in that practice, it’s still pretty disheartening. I had goals for this year! And the year’s almost half over and I’m not really keeping up with it and — yeah. It’s tough.
So for the past two months or so, I’ve been giving myself a pass. Part of that is related to aforementioned health lifestyle changes; I need to get used to that, because that has to be a key part of my life and diet from now on. It doesn’t matter how much I write or otherwise create if my health goes downhill, and I would very much like to stay alive and healthy. I do think it’s getting easier, now; I have a better idea of when I get home from work and the sort of food I can make that’s still easy but keeps me in a relatively “safe” range for what I’m eating.
And now that I am getting the hang of things, I do need to focus on my productive schedule.
My friends like to tell me that they admire me for my discipline. I don’t really feel like I have much of it, especially in regards to my writing and falling of schedule with that. My finances have also been seesawing since I had to throw out a lot of my kitchen staples and buy ones that were compatible with the diet changes I needed to make. I think those are also beginning to even out, though, so… fingers crossed!
With those things squared away, I do want to get back on track with writing. I have figured out something that might be a workaround for how much better and easier I work when I’m not at my “home base,” so to speak. As soon as I come home and sit down at my desktop computer, it’s like everything else goes out the window. I’m “home,” I’m allowed to goof off… even if I haven’t done anything that I need or planned to do.
So hopefully that workaround does, in fact, work. Hopefully I can get back on the horse and get myself back to a more consistently productive schedule. There’s still a lot of things that I want to write and do, and I think I could honestly get those done! …I just need to pull myself back into focus, and be consistent about that. Once I can get that ball rolling, I hope that everything will, if not fall into place, be easier to nudge into the positions they need to be.
Wish me luck!